you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize