On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Threesome in a minivan. New low
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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