too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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