i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
as a side note pls kill me
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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