Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
