My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
