based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
