her vagine was all disorganized.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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