I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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