And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
