sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
