Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
