HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
