No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
