Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
