So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
