Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.

Fav 12 1716 1966
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(301): View more from Maryland

I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush

(703): View more from Virginia

Ew, did you brush them again?

(301): View more from Maryland

Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure

Fav 7 857 1525
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(903): View more from Texas

I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.

Fav 13 2748 1417
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(310): View more from California

he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party

Fav 1 622 1309
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.

(403): View more from Alberta, CA

PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.

Fav 0 359 149
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