dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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