I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
