I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize