i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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