super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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