I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
