what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize