so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
