I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
