I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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