next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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