So drunk its hurt
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
