is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize