your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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