We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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