and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
