HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
