me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
