Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
