You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
