So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize