I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
