Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
