dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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