who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize