Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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