i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
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