The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
