I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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