small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
