This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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