you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
