their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
