so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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