Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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