He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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