marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
too bad you live with your parents still
what is it with giant penises always finding me
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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