You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize