I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
