So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
