i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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