I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize