Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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