I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
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