WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
