Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
