We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
