there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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