I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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