i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
‪So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?‬
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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