Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
50% drunk capacity currently
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
